February 14th. One of 366 days this leap year. Valentine’s Day. Whether or not you think the day is worth celebrating, it’s still Valentine’s Day. I want my wife to know she’s special, loved, and my valentine every single day. I get that. I hear a lot of people echo that same idea. It should be an everyday thing. Agreed.
In my opinion, Christmas should be an everyday thing, so should Veteran’s Day and so on, but they are not. Not that we don’t feel the same all year, but on those dates set aside for such things, we tend to notice more, to care more, to be sensitive to those meanings and histories. So, it’s the 14th of February and I am not sure I even care about Valentine’s Days’ history. I just know it’s Valentine’s Day and how we celebrate it, more or less.
My wife and I have nothing planned for the day. I know, bad me. If you asked us separately, we’d both say we really don’t care about the day, or at least openly celebrating the day. But this is my space, my time, and I intend to let my wife know that whether or not the day is special, she is very special.
Right now she’s sick. She has no energy. She wouldn’t want to leave our bed, much less the house. As any of you may know, if you ever had a mother, and I know you did, there’s nothing quite like the household when mom is sick. The cornerstone isn’t right and everyone notices, immediately. We all count on mom. So, my goal over the last 24-36 hours especially, has been to make this as seamless as possible, while allowing her to rest and take everything I can off of her plate. That said, she was not listening to my urging for her to get back to bed last night, as she started preparing our tax information. Taxes and sickness kind of feel the same, but she needed her rest.
So, back to this Feb. 14th special appreciation thing. I have not always been good on this subject, and I am not even suggesting that I am any better now. I just know that I intend to write here until I get the sentiment out that I feel for my wife. Even if these were the words she heard or read every day, making her feel special bears repeating.
Happy Valentine’s Day Amaris. I love you sweetheart. You are the best part of everyday. If I don’t always show it, I certainly know it. All I have to do is think of this life without you in it, and I shudder to even skirt around the thought of it. For anyone who doesn’t know Amaris, it’s pronounced like, “ah – maris”, kind of like this. Who are you cheering for in the home run race this year (1961), Mantle or Maris? Answer: “ah, Maris”, or Amaris. Ok, she’ll probably kill me for that breakdown on the pronunciation of her first name. Hey, I love baseball, and I love her name. Never heard it, ever, before I met her. I have to admit that I love using Roger Maris’ name in the explanation too. Although, I would have been cheering for Mantle most likely. He’s the reason I fell in love with the number 7 when I was just a boy. Back on track now.
I remember on one of our first ever dates, when things easily could have gone in any direction, a friend of hers told me (first time I met this guy) that she was a very special girl and that I would never find another like her. Well, he was right. Just so you know, that took place in a bar and grill in Connecticut, while I was trying to watch a Yankees-Red Sox game without getting into any trouble. It was a pretty casual date, but then I am pretty casual if I can be.
Today I don’t feel differently about you Amaris than I did yesterday, or different from how I will feel tomorrow, I just want to let you know clearly today, this February 14th, that I think the world of you. I am not the most romantic, the most sentimental (probably close on this one), or the best communicator. I am not the most patient, observant, attentive listener, or a lot of things. I do know that I would be lost without you.
You mean the world to me. You are a tremendous wife. You are an amazing talent in anything you try to do. You will try almost anything, and I love it. You think so far outside the box at times that I just stare in amazement when you come up with pertinent ideas when I thought all was lost. You amaze me almost daily. Your spirit is only less beautiful than the smile I get to see every single day. You are strong and so capable of being the ‘go to’ person in every aspect of your life. You pick me, us, up when we slip and fall or lose our way. You are forever a kid in some ways, and I hope you never change. This I have told you a thousand times, and I pray to God I never deter you from being the you I met in Sturbridge, Massachusetts at our work event that summer day. You are warm. You give everyone a chance. You are a wonderful mother. You are a big sister anyone would want to have. You are a prize to have for a wife. I love you Amaris.
I know the days add up, the hours go by, sometimes in a blinding blur. With schedules that have us running constantly, I know we don’t always get those moments together, just us, that we once had, but I notice you are every bit my love as you ever have been. That is not measured in time.
I know you aren’t feeling well and I hope you wake up this Feb. 14th, feeling so much better than you did when you went to sleep last night. Last night I was listening to a song I hadn’t heard in a while and it made me think of you, of us.… Tonight, we are young. So let’s set the world on fire. We can burn brighter than the sun …
I close my eyes, listening to this tune and others, and I think of you Amaris. Selfishly, me and you. Smiling, laughing, our eyes reserved for one another. We talk. We openly disagree with each other about some of our likes and dislikes, we aren’t afraid to be different. We don’t confuse matters of family and each other. This was clear from early on and perhaps the most powerful force pushing us together as a couple with a future together. I see how our strengths have blended together making us better together than either of us would be on our own. I credit you for that. Eyes still closed, I feel the love you have for me wrapped around me like a safety net, alongside me like a kick-stand, beneath me like a pedestal, above me like a calming, perfect blue sky, and running throughout me like a boost of rocket fuel. I am so fortunate to be loved so deeply by such a wonderful woman, my beautiful Amaris.
I remember how we came to meet. It wasn’t a road that either one of us would have ever planned for, dreamed of, or even remotely thought about. Heck, we were nowhere near a road, as it were, as we covered the distances in our lives that brought us together. As it turned out, we were both looking for each other, and happened to be in the same place at the same time when those wandering glances connected. I am so glad we met. I am so happy that I found you. I am so glad that you smiled and said “Hi” back to me. So glad.
It’s Valentine’s Day, and Amaris, I am glad you are my valentine. No matter what today brings, I wouldn’t want to start this, or any day, without you. And tonight, when all is said and done, I don’t want to end this day unless you’re at my side. Happy Valentine’s Day Amaris! I know I have let a lot of people know how I feel here. I am just hoping you feel this every moment of every day. Not just today. This could be written, spoken, or shared on any day. But, that’s not to take anything away from these words which are written here, for you, today. I am grateful for you. I thank God for you every day. And I am sure that when you have lived many years beyond my time, that your legacy will be greater than even I could imagine. You are a special person. I am so happy that I am the one you chose. I love you.
I sat down and started writing this last night. I have been thinking about this for a few months actually. The quality of writing may not reflect it, but these thoughts and feelings are near and dear to me. I love wildlife, nature, weather, the spontaneous uniqueness of athletic greatness, and just about everything God created. And similar to the greatest thing you ever saw, the most awe-inspiring event your heart skipped a beat through, or even the most uplifting, life-changing words your ears were ever privileged to hear; I too struggle for words to capture the essence of Amaris, my love, my wife.