The picture is of fireworks lighting up the night sky. And my mind went to a couple of places.
Then there is also “Firework”, which is a song. It was Katy Perry who sang it something like this…
“Do you ever feel like a plastic bag Drifting through the wind, wanting to start again? Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin Like a house of cards, one blow from cavin’ in? Do you ever feel already buried deep? Six feet under screams, but no one seems to hear a thing Do you know that there’s still a chance for you? ‘Cause there’s a spark in you
You just gotta ignite the light And let it shine Just own the night Like the Fourth of July
‘Cause baby, you’re a firework…”
I looked up the lyrics to see if I could determine the meaning of “Firework” according to the lyrics. This is what I copied and pasted above.
I looked over the lyrics and ultimately, I wrote my own take on some words that lined up (loosely) with the lyrics.
Do you ever feel like a stranger lost
Wandering in the dark, looking for the light?
Do you ever feel, feel so stuck within
Like a weight so heavy, you’ve given up the fight?
Do you ever feel done before you start
Your thoughts drowned by the beating of your heart?
Do you know there’s a way out of the endless night?
But I was sitting watching these fireworks and thinking a different thing. I thought about the darkness of night, and the sudden light which offered so much instant perspective. I wasn’t only thinking of the dark of night, but the darkest of my personal nights, any of our own personal nights. When walls seem closer and windows only tease us, as if there is a way out. Then the sun comes up only to shed light on our personally tilted reality. And despite the daylight it’s not long before we again wish for the cover of night, and the cycle seems to never end.
I have had those nights and days, and nights again. Thank God I didn’t dwell there. The fireworks lighting up the sky were like a graphic in my mind of my brain twitching and glitching as if controlled by the power of my racing heart, trying with all of its’ might to get my mind to introduce just one new thought. To break the mold I had cast. That new thought flashed like a bolt of lightning, or a firework going off. It lasted a split second but showed there was hope to bust out of this darkness. One thought at a time.
One thought at a time turned into erratic glimpses of prayers for help, and they evolved into a better, more concerted effort to break free from the darkness. This didn’t happen in one night but over a longer time than I would care to admit. But it did happen.
Then as positive thoughts and prayers often do, they started to change my perspective. Day was worth looking at and night became more peaceful, a little at a time. All of this gathered strength and mixed resolve became a force that forcibly shook me as I still tried to hold on to what I thought I could control even if I knew it wasn’t the right answer, or the best answer.
God was never out of my life, I was out of communication from Him and hiding where I could. As I got closer to Him, the light was impossible to miss. Brilliant! With monumental effort, and way too much energy dumped into a much bigger, healthier picture, eventually it led to a whole new life. It took so much effort and time mostly because I am a slow learner, and not typically hyped about change, even if the change is for the better.
All this time later, I am lighter. I feel free and happy. I feel hopeful and helpful. I feel as though the best is truly ahead. And sitting in a ballpark watching fireworks go off in the night, I thought of my Lord and Savior. I also thought of this verse.
Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life. ~ John 8:12 (KJV)
