To My Friend, Ben

May, 2023 – To My Friend, Ben – It was November, 2015 and despite having three older kids that played sports, including varsity sports at Goffstown High School, we had not experienced hockey at GHS yet. Well, we had seen many games, followed previous teams and players, etc. but this was new. We had a son trying out for the high school hockey team.

 

 

 

 

Ben, Friends of Goffstown Hockey, and GHS Hockey families, I am sorry that I cannot be with you all today. Ben, I am with one of the ‘first four’ that lost their breakfast on the ice during your first ever day of tryouts. One player from your first Freshman Class at GHS is graduating from Ohio University this weekend, after a wonderful hockey career in Athens, Ohio. Rumor has it that he also did pretty well in school.

 

So, here we go, a letter To My Friend, Ben. 

 

It was November, 2015 and despite having three older kids that played sports, including varsity sports at Goffstown High School, we had not experienced hockey at GHS yet. Well, we had seen many games, followed previous teams and players, etc. but this was new. We had a son trying out for the high school hockey team.

 

We didn’t know who Ben Slocum was. We didn’t know anything about the health of the hockey program at the time. We didn’t know if our son would even make the hockey team. We did trust, however, that the positive experiences we have enjoyed since moving to Goffstown in 1996 would continue. 

 

Thankfully, Ben Slocum was named Head Coach of the hockey team and his first season at the helm aligned divinely with our Freshman player’s first varsity tryout. Sebastian made the team. The connection to Goffstown Hockey, to that team, and most certainly to Coach Slocum began in earnest. 

 

As I only knew a couple of families that had returning players, I rather blindly offered to volunteer where I could. I knew how to do scoresheets, had written a sports article or two, and had dabbled in the area of a family calendar, you know, the kind we all have on our phones now. 

 

So, I offered up any help that I felt I could provide. This brought me closer to the coaching staff and this group called, “The Board”. I did talk to parents of the Senior players to see if I could take some volunteer work off of their plates because, well, you know, they have final seasons and graduations to get ready for. 

 

As tryouts turned into practices and the players got to know their coaches, some pictures and perspectives began to take shape. I learned that Ben wanted the kids to speak for themselves, ultimately to exert themselves as emerging young men and women, speaking and standing for themselves. This did not mean that he was a pushover. But it did open up a real-time commentary that the kids and coaches bought into. This connection was ironclad and it bred loyalty and trust. If nothing else, everyone certainly knew where they stood.

 

I gathered that Coach Slocum, in my words, didn’t care what your name was, what level of hockey you had played thus far, who your parents were, or who you knew. I LOVED this right from the start. Ben wanted kids to play hard, to work hard, to stand on their own two feet and get back up when they were knocked back to earth, and to be good teammates for one another. 

 

In other words, the player’s progress was based completely on the player. Their attitude, their work ethic, their teammate-ability, their desire to push themselves to higher heights in the classroom and on the ice. Ben and his staff nurtured this process and fostered an atmosphere of maximum effort, great attitude, and an accountability to one another. 

 

 

 

Coach Slocum understood that the name on the front of the uniform was the way he, and his program, would be measured. So every single piece of his program needed to be working hard, working together, and lifting each other up along the way.

 

Don’t underestimate the value of Ben’s sense of humor through all of his years in coaching. I can’t begin to count the comments he and I shared over the years when he would tell me how funny this player was or that one. He loved that part of handling the pressures of high school as a student athlete and a team that answers to the ‘G’ and the powers that be. 

 

On top of all of these things, apparently everyone likes the job you’re doing a whole lot better when you win games.

 

Now Goffstown Hockey had been winning hockey games for many years. But there are opportunities to win on the ice, off the ice, behind the bench, and in the community to name a few. 

 

I know there have always been absolutely wonderful people in the Goffstown hockey community since before the program even got onto the ice. And, this ‘lifting up’ of Ben and his tenure with GHS Hockey is not in any way a ‘putting down’ of others in order to rise above them. This is simply an account of Ben Slocum, the Man, the Father, the Husband, the Family Man, the Hockey Coach, and my friend. 

 

Like I said, volunteering offered me the opportunity to get close to the coaches and board members of the booster club, FOGH (Friends of Goffstown Hockey). This was not my intent. I just wanted to help. Everyone had their roles. I didn’t need to have one or I could have one, whatever was needed. 

 

Eventually, I became a board member for several seasons. The board really does an amazing job of supporting the program and creatively thinking to add to the overall experience for the student athletes and everyone involved in the program from one season to the next. 

 

 

Having grown up with hockey, baseball, football, basketball, Olympic sports, or tennis events playing on the radio or TV as the soundtrack of my life, I was ready to bring my best to whatever role I played. Ben was coaching and not asking for particular help from me, but we talked a lot about hockey. This led to the beginnings of our dynamic. 

 

Ben brought a sense of fresh air to the program at a time when that was desperately needed. I heard this from every single family that returned to the team in the 2015-2016 season. Then I heard more of it from players (and their families) that came back to the program after they had seen the difference in their classmates who were now playing GHS hockey for Ben Slocum and staff. 

 

Ben was true to himself from day one. He is still true to himself. That is a strength. Truth, and the strength to stay true is so badly needed. True is true, whether we agree or not, and Ben has always been true. 

 

Over the years, I have remarked to myself, and even many times to Ben directly, “I don’t know how you do it. I would have been so fired up and would have done this or that”. And while Ben might have been seething inside, he kept his cool, and stayed so objective in so many scenarios.

 

I think the sentiment that Coach Kinnaly of Winnacunnet offered is also one of the things about Ben that has impressed me very much over the years. Coach Kinnaly said, “I think most importantly for me though, once the final whistle was blown, Ben always showed humility and class to me and our players regardless of the outcome on the ice…” 

 

Ben has always tried to surround himself with good people on the bench with him. People that know the game, that can relate to kids, and lead by example. I know the players win and lose the games, and no coach can be successful all by themselves, and I know that Ben knows that too. I have never known him to put himself ahead of the team, his staff, or the common goal. 8 years of head coaching at GHS has never been about him. 

 

I have come to know Ben as a husband, father, family man, and friend. He absolutely adores his wife Randee. He cannot love and care more for his family. He is extremely generous and perhaps even moreso, selfless. But that is not to say that he is not strong, steadfast, and driven, while remaining compassionate.

 

 

 

I have seen Ben with his family, and with his friends, and the better time everyone else is having is also the better time that he is having. I have seen Ben interacting with opposing coaches, on and off the ice, and despite a lot of ribbing, there is such a love of the right way to coach and play the game as well as a respect for one another. I know Ben would do anything he possibly could for any of these people if they needed help. 

 

For several seasons, Ben included me in the end of year hockey coaches meetings where all the coaches voted on All-State teams, Coach of the Year, and the Senior Game rosters. He didn’t need to bring me with him. I never asked to go with him. But like he did with his players, he trusted in me. I am very thankful for that look into NH high school hockey that Ben afforded me, just because.

 

I told my wife that one of the things that I have enjoyed most about our friendship with Ben and Randee, their family, and even some of their friends, is that it has been earned. 

 

My friendship with Ben has been earned. Not by what we have brought to the table, but more so by what we haven’t brought to the table. A friendship founded on trust and respect. There is no fluff. There is no agenda. There is no fake. There is truth, like it or not. It is real, it is grounded, and strong. So is he. 

 

Now for a little bit of fun with Ben, hockey and the records. 

 

All I can say is, thank the Lord that someone invented sticky labels that fit perfectly onto a hockey scoresheet. And on those sticky labels are printed the names of the players and coaches on the roster. They are legible and orderly. And if Ben wasn’t the one to type up the list in the first place, the names are even spelled correctly. 

 

I have given Ben a few jabs about his grammar, spelling, and public speaking over the years. This is not to say that I am any better at any of those things but I had to get a jab in there every once in a while. Although, I do give Ben props because he has improved in these areas whether he really wanted to or not. 

 

 

 

 

For the last several years I have done a lot of driving for work. So, I am oftentimes on some back road in northern New Hampshire or Vermont. Having been the ‘unofficial keeper of the stats’ over the last 8 years, I am sometimes contacted about trends in numbers, players stats, career milestone stats that a player is approaching, etc. 

 

Usually these types of inquiries from Ben come during reasonable hours of the day. And I almost always have numbers, stats, trends, and the necessary information ready for him on the spot or at least quickly. While I think he has given me much credit for remembering most of these things, I hate to admit that I have a phone that is much smarter than I am. Thanks to Google sheets and docs hidden behind an icon on my phone, I can access numbers pretty quickly. Once in a while I actually do remember something on my own. 

 

But honestly, I love the fact that Ben has asked me time after time. I am thankful to be able to be that help. I am pleased that he is always thinking of such things because for him, just like me, it’s all about the kids.

 

If any of you ever had a question as to the authenticity of Ben Slocum that I have mentioned here, or even over the last 8 seasons, you need only spend an afternoon in an ice cold rink on metal bleachers with Ben’s older sisters. All I am saying is that we all come from somewhere, and the behaviors we learn along the way are influenced and/or shared by others. I came out of that rink the fortunate one, to have met these two women and spend some time talking with them. The pleasure, all mine. 

 

Behind the scenes, Ben has pulled stats from me in all months of the year, and all hours to support one of his players for an award, building a recruiting profile, a packet for a college coach, or a chance to attend an invite only camp. Whatever it might be, he has backed his players and worked around the clock to push them forward or elevate their place in the hockey player’s life. I take great honor in this, as this is for the kids.

 

Personally, I have seen Ben interact with my wife and our kids. He has been kind and generous. And it never seems to take much time at all to find a common ground for all to stand on together as friends, jokesters, and allies. 

 

Over the years, I think Ben has asked me only two times as to where he stands in any coaching ranks. Whether it was one particular special win streak or as a career win total. I would be much more apt to give updates on many stats and records even if they weren’t being asked for. 

 

 

 

Face it, he was Head Coach of the Goffstown Grizzlies Hockey Team during the most successful seasons of the program’s history. Even if someone comes along and betters all of the records, it will do nothing to diminish the legacy that Ben Slocum left on this program. And frankly, we are all better for it. Some folks might not even know that yet, but I trust they will come around.

 

I see it like this. 

 

For the strongest of strong to stand tall for an extended period of time despite opposing agendas and prevailing bitter winds that sometimes blow, many persons and personalities will come in contact with the strongest of the strong. Some are battered in the tempest that swirls. Some are shattered and fall to the ground, and grounded is the best place from which to build. Some slam into the truth and are flung far away of their own volition. Some simply gather round and lift one another up, where again, the strongest of the strong seem still to rise above the chaos in any given scene.

 

Over time, almost all come to realize the magnetic draw that accompanies the truth and the strongest of the strong. Typically, the order falls in line, not in an oppressive sense, but rather in a collective, unified strength. This comes together because the vision that the strongest of the strong pursued is almost always based on a much bigger picture that includes the betterment of many. 

 

Finally, I say, Thank you, Ben. Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for being such a great coach to so many. Thank you for all you have given to the program over your 16 seasons. Thank you for allowing me the room to do the things that I have done. And thank you for all of your support.

 

Truthfully, I am thrilled that Sebastian was able to play for you with all of his teammates. What a great run those first four years were. Selfishly, I am saddened that Theodore won’t be able to play for you. But I do hope to see you at the rink, in the backyard, around a firepit, or in your shed. I am sincerely excited to see where you, Randee, and your family go from here. The best is ahead my friend. 

 

Sincerely, Steve Beal Sr.

 

 

 

 

Audio File of this letter to Ben, read at the season ending banquet.