Back To Peace – Trans-Siberian Orchestra

Back To Peace – Trans-Siberian Orchestra.

Two weeks ago I wrote a piece on TSO that started the way you see in the following paragraph. Today I try to put into words, coming Back to Peace, as it relates to my two-plus decade relationship with the band, their music, and their fans.

Recently, I was asked by a number of people, if I would be writing anything about seeing Trans-Siberian Orchestra (TSO) again this year. The odd thing is that while I was sitting in the balcony watching the show, I was thinking that it was time to write about and share more of my TSO experience.

 

 

Part One

 

Yes, finding my seat and seeing the massive curtain that wasn’t so massive when I started this connection with the band, is truly one of my happy places. If the song Christmas Eve/Sarajevo 12/24 put Trans-Siberian Orchestra on the map, or at least on my map back in 1999, then it was the album, Christmas Eve and Other Stories that led me right to the front door.

Yes, it was on December 8th, 2000 that I scrambled to find a place to park in Albany, NY while a purifying blanket of white snow began to obscure white lines on dark pavement, but the car was parked and it was still there after the show. That was the first TSO show for me.

I have said this before, “I had NO IDEA what was in store for me that night”.

 

 

Unfortunately for me, in a way, is that my mind is constantly running like 174 background apps running on my wife’s ‘smart’ phone while trying to focus solely on being present in the moment or on the task at hand. In this way, I forget details of order and other things, but I distinctly remember my expectation that night.

If I have a musical bone in my body, I probably broke it a long time ago. But I do know what I like to hear. And sitting in that Albany balcony in 2000, much of my experience with this crazy named band hinged on the second song from the album. The song is O Come All Ye Faithful/O Holy Night. 

See, since hearing TSO on WAAF Radio out of Boston in December 1999, I had acquired all the music I could from the band. I started at the beginning, or at least it was my beginning with them. The first album.

 

 

I listened to it, over and over, and over again. I listened to the second song hundreds and hundreds of times, countless times. It was a beautiful series of sounds that connected me to all of the Christmas scenes through my life that my mind had collected. But in my own wandering, these scenes were then, far away.

In some ways, the song, was an answer to prayers that I hadn’t yet prayed. And the song, well the song was just about perfect. If my mind and my heart could collaborate on a song that followed the first song, an angel coming down to earth, then this was it. This song was a bridge for me, over a self-created chasm of fear and uncertainty, back to the stable memories of  love, family, and faith, all radiating on a horizon that I just couldn’t get to back then.

But first steps are critical, and timing is not only everything, it is the mark of beginning. And in that space, God’s timing is perfect.

“As he flew o’er Sarajevo
There were scars upon the land
There were scars upon the people
It was hard to understand…”

 

I can still hear the incomparable Bryan Hicks recite the words above as part of the show. These words, in his voice, made my heart snap to attention. I know this isn’t the order of the set list, or the album, but the meaning as assigned by me, the meaning to you, all stacks up in a different way for everyone. And that’s the important thing, the meaning. So much of our hurried lives transpires with no attention on the meaning of our thoughts, our words, our actions, or the things left in, or even the things left out.

 

 

But “scars upon the people”, that rattled me. Literally, I shook and shuddered. Not even considering any scars I might have, but rather, what scars had I inflicted. I thought loudly inside my head, “Oh, man! I am soooo not worthy! What have I gotten myself into here?!?”

Often times I am the last to know about many things in life, including what others might notice as glaringly obvious. On the other hand, I tend to observe certain details and subtleties more than many others. So, I may have missed, or more likely, purposely ignored huge red flags and stop signs that God had placed in my path over several years, and I probably still do.

But then, the sweet sound of perfectly played notes in a song that captures lines like “…Come, and behold Him…” Behold means ~ see or observe (a thing or person, especially a remarkable or impressive one). And, “…It is the night of the dear Savior’s birth…” Savior – one who saves. Oh, don’t we all need saving. Meaning. The words, the message, the sound. It all has meaning. This was the beginning of my path back to peace.

 

 

I didn’t know that back in 2000, but this song, this band, this album, Paul O’Neill’s vision, the live shows, the collective mastery of accurate detail in the playing and singing of the TSO music, all of it was part of the turn for me.

So there I was in a balcony seat in an Albany theatre, and the second song from the album began. I tensed up, attentively listening to every note and tone. The beginning through the finish. And I started to shake. It was beautiful. It was perfect. It was better than perfect. Because it was flawless, and live, and loud, and it was right there, in front of me. I could almost grab the stunningly pleasing shrills of the guitar and wrap the sound around me like the covers on a cold night where you again feel warm and safe.

That was it! They were for real. This was awesome! I was so pleased that the year of my personal prepping which led to an nearly unattainable expectation was not only met, but brilliantly exceeded. I was hooked. I am still hooked.

 

 

I literally cannot listen to this song without getting tears in my eyes to this day, especially when at TSO concerts. Meaning. Oh, my heart rate quickens as a tear leaks onto my cheek while urging other tears waiting in the depths not to be shy. But my smile reminds the rest of me that I am back to peace.

I close my eyes for a moment and I thank God Almighty for sticking with me, and for a second, I am in the old theatre. I let my again peaceful self rub elbows with my old self, so I can remember, and feel. And know that it was all real. Then I silently vow, again: No more “scars upon the people”. And I open my eyes again to see the stage before me with the gorgeous symmetry of lights and sounds and smiling performers. My shoulders relax, for I feel completely at home, back to peace, and I smile bigger still.

Once I had the map, and then crossed the threshold through the front door, it was the execution of O Come All Ye Faithful/O Holy Night that allowed me to hang my coat, kick off my shoes, and look for a place to sit and relax. It was later in December, 2000 (in Boston) and subsequent years of shows that allowed me to recognize that I wasn’t inside just anywhere. I was home. And, home, for me, has always been a happy place.

This is why I take a picture of the Trans-Siberian Orchestra curtain every year. It represents that despite the rush and the crush of the alarmingly fast paced life that I get caught up in, here in my seat, in this space, surrounded by friends and strangers alike, I am home, and back to peace.

 

 

 

A very special thanks to Brad Parmerter for helping me put together the videos in this article that capture slices of what a Trans-Siberian Orchestra concert looks and sounds like. Check out Brad’s page. Totally awesome!

 

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Part Two

Below are the lyrics to the song, The Prince Of Peace. When this song is beginning to play during a Trans-Siberian Orchestra concert, I feel the warmth of calm. A comforting wave of relaxation washes over me, and I smile a little smile. How Paul O’Neill was able to weave these pieces together still amazes me. For all of these years, these certain pieces still tug at my heart strings. If you don’t have such strings, you may want to develop some.

 

The Prince Of Peace

In the middle of a forest
There’s a clearing by a stream
Where a mother holds her newborn
And the Child begins to dream

And He dreams of hopes unspoken
When the tears of man will cease
And His mother holds Him closer
For He is the Prince of Peace

And the moon is looking downward
Casting shadows through the trees
And the stars are shining brighter
As they whisper what they see

How the emperor and the pauper
With the lion and the lamb
Kneel down before the Infant
For his peace they understand

Hark! the herald angels sing
Glory to the newborn King
Peace on Earth and mercy mild
God and sinners reconciled
Glory all ye nations rise
Join the triumph of the skies

With the heavenly host proclaim
Christ is born in Bethlehem
Hark! the herald angels sing
Glory to the newborn King

Let the bells ring out these tidings
Let it echo across the land
That a King is born in Bethlehem
And his Kingdom is at hand

Let the world rejoice together
As it looks upon the stars
Knowing every man’s our brother
And that every child is ours

 

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Then, to hear Erika Jerry, or the late Daryl Pediford, pour every fiber of their being into the heartfelt, brilliantly crafted rendition of this song in concert, well that is just a priceless gift all on its own. I cannot watch and listen to Erika sing this song without shedding tears. Maybe I am too sentimental, but I believe the tears that flow best are the ones that come from the internally hardened places and dark corners of our cumulative existence as a result of being tenderized by a connection that is soaked in love, dripping in compassion, and as authentic as the way we think we are.

Isaiah 9:6 – For a child will be born to us, a son will be given to us; and the government will rest on His shoulders; and His name will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Eternal Father, Prince of Peace.

Romans 5:1 – Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.

John 16:33 – These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.

Romans 14:19 – So then we pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another.

 

As the song returns from the Mendelssohn and Wesley segment, and I begin to catch my breath, my heart and mind unite in submission to these words, “…Let the world rejoice together, As it looks upon the stars, Knowing every man’s our brother, And that every child is ours”. 

What a powerful message in lyrics. The power of putting these lyrics into action, well, that would be immeasurable.

 

 

I close this out in saying that my peace begins and ends through my Lord and Savior. My own windings and wanderings through life led me to places where I was so far away from peace. Yes, through all of that, I knew my Lord and Savior, but given my own free will, I created the distance. I was the agitation, the strife. The fear, the uncertainty, the reasons I couldn’t get back grew and strengthened like a gigantic wall that I couldn’t get over, or around. I could look past it at times, but only to what I knew before, which was ultimately what I hoped my future could again be.

That massive wall was not pulverized or destroyed in a moment, but in that wall there developed a pin hole, a crack. And I could be completely wrong on this, but I do believe that the seeds of that crack came in the delivery of those pleasing shrills and in the brilliantly crafted renditions of TSO songs. It was my own personal connection to the music, the lyrics, the message, as narrated to my hardening heart by my mind and seen through the history lessons of my mind’s eye, that kept me coming back. Like a 24-hour per day work crew, chipping away at that wall.

Eventually, through God’s abundant grace, and His desire to bring me back to the fold, the wall was indeed pulverized and I stepped over the remaining obstacle, and ultimately, back to peace.

 

 

Thank you for staying with me. Yes, I know these are my own experiences and connections with TSO, but I do feel that there are others out there who have similar stories. Similar experiences of how Trans-Siberian Orchestra and the vision of Paul O’Neill made a connection more relatable and real. To all of you, I wish you a Merry Christmas. I wish for each of you an inexhaustible supply of love, joy, peace, generosity, and compassion.