It’s been a year now, 12 whole months since a life here expired. I remember the weeks leading to the day that we all knew would come sometime. There was so much support, many prayers and efforts, regardless of being tired. Amid the details though, it wasn’t too difficult, a beautiful love, to find.
Sometimes, God sees fit to place us, from birth, in the care of a mother who will spend the rest of her days mastering the skill of motherhood. These mothers, they never stop learning, all…
When I walk into those rooms, I know that there is someone, or maybe many someones, who are dealing with perhaps the toughest times of their entire life in those moments. This is where I pray a little more, I ask for the right words, along with extra love and compassion.
Some days go by and my thoughts race and erase with the pace of fleeting time. Then there are days like today when I see things that are no longer in front of my eyes.
But I was wrong, it wasn’t the good that had left the room, but rather the feeling of evil had entered and hung like a thick black smoke over everyone and every thing. I can’t say that I have ever felt that way before, but it was a place to which not a soul I’d ever again wish to bring.
The other day, I went outside seeking a connection to the those now gone.
Specifically, I was looking for the one we loved, the one we call, John.
We are so busy in our lives. There’s time, but too rare is it that time, we make. Mostly, it is the allowances that we welcome, our time it does take. So, slow down, take ten minutes or so, and go where this takes you. It’s safe I assure you, and visit as often as you would like to.
Is there no lucidity in a month of moments ensuring one can share the pain?
A luminary is gone, one who would, in time, opponents’ favor to gain.
Today we come together to remember one of us, one held so dear.
I implore you to ensure that her sweet, smiling spirit ne’er disappear.
Well, sometimes I look at Facebook, and I respond literally to the question: “What’s on your mind?” Today I had a whole slew of answers, some of which I verbalized into the empty room surrounding me. Mostly they were superficial and not predicated on anything too important.
Wendy Tefft (1977-2106).
Wendy Tefft, 38, of Dunbarton, died September 1 2016.
Wendy taught Kindergarten at Glen Lake School in Goffstown NH, where she was employed for two years.
Tomorrow, another school year begins in Goffstown, NH. Yet, tonight, for the third time in four days, I was stopped in my tracks when I saw the obituary for Mrs. Wendy Tefft online. We all should be seeing her tomorrow, standing out front, smiling, and greeting all. Imagine how long the list of accolades and kind words would be if Mrs. Tefft hadn’t been taken so soon. We were some of the fortunate ones that got to feel her impact. We all will miss her here in this community.
Wendy Tefft, 38, was found dead from a single gunshot wound at her Dunbarton home Thursday morning. Source: Goffstown schools ‘devastated’ by kindergarten teacher’s death; investigation ongoing | New Hampshire https://1inawesomewonder.com/2016/09/02/precisely-vague
I am not sure where to begin. I started here because this is where the top of my page begins. But maybe, I should start from the bottom because some things feel like they’ve just recently been turned upside down.
16 weeks have passed. The days come, and they go. The hours are filled with the monotony of routine, and the tasks that seem to work their way into every open time slot. There is…
When will I ever learn? While I whine, some one else may crash and burn.
I don’t know which is the harder one to lose; the one you love, or the one who dearly loved you. ~ Steve Beal Sr. 2016.
Tomorrow is Father’s Day and I wanted to get this off of my mind before the actual day. Over the last couple of weeks this thought has been creeping into my psyche a little more often every day. Until these last few days, when it has downright bugged me, bothered me, and otherwise haunted me. I asked my wife yesterday, “What am I supposed to do on Father’s Day, with no father, for the first time in my life?”
I suppose I still don’t know the answer. But I know that I miss my Dad an awful lot.
I’m here in the yard, at the house I grew up in. I mowed the lawn as I usually do. But I’m missing my Dad. He’d be sitting right here, outside in the warm air.…
Dad, can we gather round the table one more time and just let loose?
Oh, we’d laugh til tears, you, my siblings, Mom, this boy you called moose.
I look at the hoop and wonder if I’ll ever see that arch ever again.
Dad, you were one the best lefty shooters there has ever been.
You weren’t well, but I never thought this day would come so soon.
Dimly, I thought that maybe when the day came, I’d be somehow immune.
Dad’s presence was felt, his impact impossible to miss. I don’t think he was looking down from heaven at us, because I am hoping he had better things to do, like lose himself in his mother’s waiting arms, or to look his Dad in the eye and hear the words, “Well done son”. Maybe he was off creating comedy from nothing with his twin sister June. Perhaps he was walking the streets of gold and getting to know his brother Roger, who passed away as a baby, before any of the other siblings.
See, me, and my generation, we hope to be measured one day in the same breath as the great people of the generation before us. In that generation the simplicity of life lived was the stunning portrayal choreographed by the depth found in the intricacies of magnificent minds with the perceived time to approach extraordinary. I am just a man, my Dad was a great man, a great man of God. His new place in heaven ensures what should always be, that I’ll look up to him. I do, and I will.
What was once just down the hall, now requires a plan, accounting for all. The sweet, trusted security only separated by a flight of stairs, is somewhere in the past, or at least not so easily found, or fast. The supported now strain to support, and one longs for it all, again to be the other way around.
Saturday, February 13, 2016. 400pm @ Sullivan Arena, Goffstown, NH – Goffstown vs. Dover. In the end, Goffstown did make the road upset win at Dover stand up. The Grizzlies came out and beat the high-flying Red…
To the game we go. Honestly, I told myself in the very first minute of the game, that unless something went horribly wrong, Goffstown should be in this game until the end. It was apparent early that Goffstown came to play.
This morning though, I remember my Aunt Janette. Below, I have shared a poem that I wrote in honor of my aunt. She was a beautiful person, inside and out. I was fortunate enough to have a relationship with her right from the time I was born. Last night when I looked at my calendar, and I let the date register with me, I stopped and I thought about my wonderful aunt. She is still very much missed and I cannot wait to see her again, one day, in heaven. This morning, I remember her, and I share this poem I wrote a few years ago.
I did tell one friend and former colleague, that I wished I could just call an impromptu meeting in my office and have all of us there one more time, together, bringing all that each of us represents into that room, to see each other as we are, and enjoy some funny story, or laugh at ourselves as we often did. Oh, to look across that space and see the faces, the people, the efforts given for a common goal, and to know that we would see them all again. All of them again
We came together to get a job done while pursuing our own lives. We overlapped only as we allowed. And that was good. As it should be.
Yesterday my Uncle Dean passed away. This world lost another good man. I know he suffers no more, and for that I am grateful. I look forward to seeing him again one day, Lord-side. When…
A tribute of sorts. Or, certainly my look into the chains that bind us. Those that don’t understand how one can be touched or moved by these actions, may well be the ones that need…
Lord, I pray we wait not, for those days to think on these things, but to actively pursue them with all that we are, and all we can be. We know not what the future holds for any of us. Let us not be caught up in that uncertainty, but have faith in You, and the tremendous power we possess to be present now. May we serve you Lord each day, knowing that the time we invest in one another is truly what makes the world go round.
So today, remember those who serve, those who have served, and learn all you can. Be there for those who are still here but lost someone so we could be free. As we get to Tuesday and complain how fast our extra 24 hours off passed by, think about the hours our fallen heroes spent defending our freedoms. Think about how long a single hour may have felt to them and the thousands of questions and thoughts that must have raced through their minds. Think about the fact that so many never were able to experience the next hour, let alone 24 extra hours. Respect them and those they left behind. Remember. In this day where so many feel they’re entitled to something, to anything; it’s our fallen heroes that are entitled. They’re entitled to be remembered, to be respected, to be thanked, and to be honored. That fun weekend you are experiencing now would likely not be possible if the brave hadn’t defended our home. Remember and have a memorable Memorial Day Weekend.
